43 and Growing

Yesterday was my 43rd birthday. I am really, truly loving my 40's. It was a perfect day. There was a book store, a visit to Anthropologie, lunch at my favorite restaurant, a mimosa, my favorite cupcake, thoughtful gifts, handmade treasures, grilled steak that cost too much money and birthday pie. All of that was lovely, but my very favorite part of the day, the part I never want to forget, is when my sweetie gazed at me with love from across the lunch table and told me that I have really grown into myself over the years and that I am more beautiful to him at 43 than I was at 29. That's the stuff right there. Blessed.

My birthday often feels like a fresh start to me. I don't know if everyone feels like that. I don't know if it feels that way because it's so close to New Year's, when most people get reflective of such things. I've just always really loved fresh starts. I moved so much when I was growing up but my eternal sense of optimism always had me focusing on the excitement of that fresh start. This birthday, even more than others, feels like a beginning to me. I have been spending more and more time in my studio, finding it hard to make myself come out. I am more me in that room than any other place in the world. I plan to live the next year of my life as creatively as possible. I love the feeling of excitement I wake up with, the ideas floating through my mind as I fall asleep at night. I love the JOY of loving and living my life. I think my guy is right in that I am growing into the me I was meant to be and embracing it. I'm living my life genuinely and I hope that just continues to grow in my life until it fills up every corner.

43. I like you already.