Coming To A Theater Near You!

Upcoming Attractions

It's that time again. Time to drag out a bunch of upcoming trailers and see if there's anything worthwhile coming up in the near and/or distant future. It's like fantasy football, except you're almost always bound to be disappointed with the results.

1. I needed this in my life yesterday.

HAYWIRE.
Thank Melissa for this one. I saw the trailer and just about wet myself. The cast is excellent, the premise sticks to one of those if-it-ain't-broke-don't-fix-it formulas, and the main character is a badass fucking chick out for blood. I need say no more.

2. Shut your face--I'M FUCKING PUMPED.

MISSION IMPOSSIBLE 4.
I can't fucking wait. Does it matter that I haven't seen the last Mission Impossible movies in years? No, no it doesn't. Because the action looks killer, the cast is fantastic, and what can I say, I like Tom Cruise when he's being himself--a complete and utter tool. Even if he has the most ridiculous run known to mad kind. I'm there.

FRIGHT NIGHT.
Anton Yelchin? David Tennant? Toni Collette? I'll admit--even Colin Farrell, even though he's a completely hit or miss actor (owned his role in In Bruges (2008), then ad-libbed the rest of his career, what gives?). Let's just hope this is a hit. I will add that I've never seen the original Fright Night (1985), so I have zero reason yet to hate this movie on principle.

3. It's a toss up.

IN TIME.
Alright. The thing is, I would be so fucking stoked for this movie. If Inception (2010) didn't already exist. I know its a faulty comparison, but. Eh. There's just something that doesn't click. I'll probably end up seeing it anyway.

30 MINUTES OR LESS.
Like the action, like the actors, like the comedy. Dislike paying $11.00 for it. I'll probably wait for a rental.

SHARK 3D.
I can't wait to get wasted and wake up with this ticket stub, a lemur, and Zach Gallifinakis lying in bed next to me going: "What the hell happened last night?"